If you struggle to calm down, suffer from unresolved trauma, or have a highly charged and wound-up nervous system then here are some practical tips to help comfort yourself at these times. Self-soothing is an emotional, physical, psychological, and biological developmental task every person learns to develop growing up – to varying degrees. Put simply, self-soothing is the ability to calm ourselves down after experiencing something stressful. Here are some healthy and gentle self-soothing techniques that anyone who struggles with anxiety, PTSD or overly-sensitized nervous systems can use:
1. Self-holding
Okay, the term ‘self-holding’ may sound fancy – but it actually means giving yourself one big bear hug! Self-holding is a practice advocated by Peter Levine (the creator of somatic experiencing) with the intention of anchoring and calming the nervous system. It has been proven that hugs are good for you as they release the feel-good hormone oxytocin – and self-hugs are just as effective! So when you are feeling stressed or like you’re on the verge of having a meltdown, go somewhere quiet. Sit down. Hug yourself. Really focus on what it’s like to be hugged and held and let the feelings sink in.
2. Gentle hand technique
When you are feeling stressed, triggered or overwhelmed, close your eyes and focus on your body. In which area of your body do you feel the fear most strongly? Rest a gentle hand over that part of your body – like a mother would over her child. The gentle hand technique is essentially a self-parenting technique that works well alongside inner child work. Wait a few seconds or so and focus on the hand gently rested over your fear. You may find your fear and anxiety gently decreasing after a minute or so. Common areas we hold our fears and anxiety are our heart space, throat area, solar plexus and lower abdomen.
3. Cross your arms, rock, deep breathing
Those who experience anxiety or PTSD may feel fractured, chaotic, split, scattered, broken or blown apart. In this state, it can be hard to define your ‘edges’ and stay in your body. When triggered by something that intensely activates the nervous system, you can use this technique. Crossing your arms helps to give you a sense of being contained and rocking mimics the feeling of being a fetus nestled in the womb (or if that feels weird, in a loving parent’s arms instead). Pair this with slow and deep breathing and you have a powerful form of self-soothing.
4. Get your body moving!
When any form of anxiety or stress occurs, a tremendous amount of energy is generated in the body as it prepares to fight or flight. In order to expel some of that excess energy, get your body moving. Try jumping up and down, going for a long walk outside, or jogging in the spot (or around the block).
5. Invest in a weighted blanket
This self-soothing technique can be a bit pricey, but it’s worth it in my opinion. If you struggle with poor sleep (which often accompanies anxiety and PTSD), consider investing in your own weighted blanket. Weighted blankets work on the basis of applying deep touch pressure stimulation (DTPS) evenly across your body which releases happy chemicals in your brain that are responsible for relaxation. You can choose the right blanket based on your body weight – generally, the best blanket for you is based on 10% of your body weight.
Another interesting self-soothing tool is the deep pressure vest. Deep pressure vests are used by those who have sensory processing disorder or autism – but they can also be used by those who struggle with anxiety. Basically, a deep pressure vest is a vest you put on that tightly compresses your body – similar to a hug. If you would like a lighter option, you can always opt to try out a compression vest used by athletes,
6. Tulsi (Holy Basil) Tea
This stuff is amazing. When my nerves are writhing with anxiety, holy basil is my go-to herb for calming down. Holy basil is an adaptogenic herb meaning that it helps the body adapt to stress. Holy basil is referred to as “holy” for a reason – in India, it is considered the “Queen of Herbs” due to its spiritual and restorative properties. Holy basil can also be used for adrenal fatigue, depression, high blood pressure, insomnia, and headaches.
For more information about Self Soothing techniques and how they can help you manage your anxiety please contact Jola (HUB Wellbeing Coordinator) jola@armedforceshub.org or come along to one of our Mindfulness sessions to learn some new techniques. You can also book a 1:1 session with Jola to look at some holistic methods tailored specifically for you and your unique life.
